Marriage Checkups: Teresa

Marriage Checkups: Teresa
Did Teresa leave her unfaithful husband?
"Have you kicked him out?" Dr. Phil asks.


"Yes I did!" Teresa says with pride, as the audience cheers. "It was maybe a week or two after we were here, and I said, 'You know what? We can't do this anymore. You've got to leave.'"


Dr. Phil reiterates his stance on divorce. "You know that I believe that we quit marriage in America too soon, that we don't have the depth of commitment that we need, and we don't work hard enough at it." But he thought Teresa's husband, who had cheated three times, was smug, insincere, and not sorry for what he'd done — just sorry that he got caught.


"What resonated with you?" Dr. Phil asks Teresa. "Where did you find the strength to do this? What mattered to you that I said?"


"Well, you also had said that I had to have my self-respect and my dignity. Well, I needed those not only for me but I needed them for my daughter. Those things are important," says Teresa.

Dr. Phil asks Teresa's teenage daughter Taylee, "How are you doing?"


"Great," she answers. "I am so proud of her. She actually took your word and went with it. She listened to me over the years and was like, 'I know you're right, I just can't do it,' but she needed someone else to tell her. I'm very proud of her, very proud of her."


Parents often stay together for the children, but Taylee thinks this is for the best. "It wasn't helping me for him to be there at all," she says. "He wasn't a father. I wouldn't have called him a father. The only thing he was when he was there was constant fighting, constant stress, there was no fun ... there was no 'the three of us.'"


Dr. Phil acknowledges that Daniel, who did not come back on the show, has his own side of the story. "He's not an evil person," he tells Teresa, "but it isn't working with you."

"Knowing that you're doing the right thing doesn't make it completely easy to do though, does it?" Dr. Phil asks Teresa.


"Absolutely," she answers. Though she's been taking care of their farm and raising their daughter for many years, she says, she was led to believe that she wasn't capable of doing it. "I have to face the fact that I can do these things," she says.


Dr. Phil offers Teresa more advice. "You aren't ready to get into another relationship," he says. "You don't have to have a man in your life to be a whole, well-functioning individual...Before you can be healthy as half of a couple, you have to be healthy as a whole individual. You have to decide, 'I am worthy of people's time, effort, energy, dignity and respect.'"


Dr. Phil suggests she write this down and read it over and over: "I would rather be healthy alone than sick with somebody else." He tells Teresa, who's now taking the MCAT so she can train to be an emergency room physician, "You are an intelligent, energetic, young, vibrant woman, and you've got goals and dreams."