Moms' Biggest Mistakes: Kelly and John

Moms' Biggest Mistakes: Kelly and John

"I am a very overwhelmed mother. My house is very busy. With three kids, you're on the go all the time, kids crying. I have no time for myself, nor for my husband and I to go out on a date," complains Kelly.
 
The last date that she recalls going on with her husband, John, was more than two-and-a-half years ago. "When my husband and I were first married, we were best friends. We told each other everything. We were very close," she says. "Our sex life was great. After we had our second child, our sex life went downhill. These days, it's 6:00 in the morning on the weekend and that's it."

John also notices that the spark is gone. "I think it's gotten into a routine. By the end of the day, we're both drained. We're ready to get some sleep, too," he says.
 
"I would love to have a date with my husband alone. If my husband and I could rekindle that fire that we had for just a short period of time, it would be wonderful," Kelly says.

 

Dr. Phil's Mom Squad, Mary and Heather, knocks at Kelly's door.


Mary says, "We heard that you haven't been on a date in quite awhile."
 
Heather says, "We're here to send you guys out to dinner on a ro

mantic evening, and we're going to watch the kids!"
 
The Mom Squad gets Kelly dressed and styles her hair. "Just because you're a mom, doesn't mean you're not sexy," Heather points out.

 

A waiting limousine whisks Kelly and John away to the Prince of Wales restaurant at Hotel Del Coronado, where they stroll on the beach before dinner. 

 

"Connecting romantically with my husband after two years was great," Kelly reports. "It makes me feel like a woman, and not an old ragged stay-at-home mom who never sees the outside world."
 
"It was nice having a conversation with my wife without anybody running in going, 'Mama, Mama, Mama!'" John jokes.
 
"Hopefully, it's a new start to our romance," they say, sharing a kiss.

"Did you have fun?" Dr. Phil asks.
 
Kelly nods. "I did. We had a great time." 
 
"Two years and you haven't been on a date?" Dr. Phil says, astonished. 
 
"You get so overwhelmed with the kids at home. You're tired at the end of the day and there's no time to fit him in," she says.
 
"One of the biggest mistakes parents make once they have kids is, they get totally busy being moms and dads, and they totally forget being friends and lovers and companions," Dr. Phil explains. He and Robin are empty nesters now that their youngest son, Jordan, is away at college, but Dr. Phil says he and Robin's relationship has survived because they made time for themselves when their kids were growing up. "When [children] leave, it's just the two of you again, and if you haven't been on a date in 18 years, if you haven't really worked on your relationship along the way, you're going to feel a tremendous gap. One of the greatest gifts you can give to your children is to take care of your relationship with their father."
 
Kelly needs to learn how to delegate responsibilities to her oldest children. "They can make their own sandwiches. They can put their own stuff away. They can do their own laundry. They can do the dishes," he says. "Then, the other thing you have to learn how to do is say no!"