Parenting 101: Biggest Nightmares
Dr. Phil talks to the parents of a 6-year-old who began acting out after the birth of her younger siblings.
Ileana and Jose say their 6-year-old daughter Janel has pushed their last nerve with her drama queen antics.
Ileana: During the day, it's very peaceful at home. Then when Janel comes home from school, the drama will begin as she walks in. We'll have an argument about taking her shoes upstairs or she'll start to fight with her sister. It's immediate drama and chaos. If Janel doesn't get what she wants, she throws a fit. She'll say I don't love her or care about her.
Jose: We tell her to do something and she doesn't do it. Then comes the stomping of the feet and the rolling of the eyes. It drives my wife insane.
Jose also complains that when he comes home and yells at Janel for misbehaving, Ileana tells him that he has no right to because he hasn't been home all day and doesn't know what she's been through.
Dr. Phil: Something has happened here. You have a 6-year-old, a 3-year-old and a 16-month-old. So for three years, Janel was the only child and the first child. She used to have everyone's attention. What used to be given will now be taken. The idea is, "They're going to replace me? We'll see about that. What I don't receive, I'll take."
Dr. Phil goes on to point out that Ileana and Jose are being inconsistent with their discipline and are not presenting a unified front to their children regarding punishment.
Dr. Phil: This child has to be made to feel very special. How do you do that? She's now one of three children. One of the things I recommend that you do is carve out some things that are just "big girl" activities. Nobody else gets to do them. She doesn't have to share this with her siblings. Both parents should do this so that she develops a special relationship with each. Make her feel that she isn't a face in the crowd anymore and doesn't have to be so demanding.
Dr. Phil then tells Ileana and Jose not to yell because for a child who wants attention, yelling is actually a reward. He also stresses the importance of parents presenting a unified front because children are good at playing one parent against the other if they sense there is disagreement on discipline.
Ileana: During the day, it's very peaceful at home. Then when Janel comes home from school, the drama will begin as she walks in. We'll have an argument about taking her shoes upstairs or she'll start to fight with her sister. It's immediate drama and chaos. If Janel doesn't get what she wants, she throws a fit. She'll say I don't love her or care about her.
Jose: We tell her to do something and she doesn't do it. Then comes the stomping of the feet and the rolling of the eyes. It drives my wife insane.
Jose also complains that when he comes home and yells at Janel for misbehaving, Ileana tells him that he has no right to because he hasn't been home all day and doesn't know what she's been through.
Dr. Phil goes on to point out that Ileana and Jose are being inconsistent with their discipline and are not presenting a unified front to their children regarding punishment.
Dr. Phil then tells Ileana and Jose not to yell because for a child who wants attention, yelling is actually a reward. He also stresses the importance of parents presenting a unified front because children are good at playing one parent against the other if they sense there is disagreement on discipline.