Will There Be a Wedding?
"Chad and I have been engaged for five years, and we have two beautiful children together, but he won't marry me," Candi laments.
Chad explains why the nuptials have been delayed. "It's taken us so long to get married because we originally had a date set and found out we were pregnant. We had another date set and found out we were pregnant again," he says.
"Chad actually wears a wedding band because it helps him at work; it makes him look like a family man," Candi reveals.
"I do want to marry her. I love her, but we just haven't been able to come up with the money for the wedding," Chad says. "Candi has really been nagging me about getting married."
[AD]Candi says her fiancé told her she could have an $8,000 wedding, but then changed his mind. She says Chad doesn't want to take out a loan to pay for the ceremony, but he finds money to pay for the things he wants. "He tells me to play the lottery if I want to have a wedding," she says with a tiny laugh. "I don't think being married is as important to Chad as it is to me. I feel unwanted, and I feel unloved."
"Do you want to get married, or do you want to get married to Chad?" Dr. Phil asks Candi.
"I want to get married to Chad. He's the father of my children," she replies. "I want to have a normal wedding. I'm not asking for above and beyond. I want a wedding like everybody else has, but he just wants to go to the courthouse."
Dr. Phil turns to Chad. "You will marry her, but you just don't want to borrow money and go in debt to have this one-day event?" he asks.
"Absolutely. I've wanted to marry her since the day I met her," Chad replies. "I just don't want to go into debt to spend money on something that is supposed to be our day, but it seems like you spend all this money for everybody else."
"But we have money to buy other things," Candi counters.
"This is a big deal to a woman. It is a big rite of passage," Dr. Phil explains to Chad.
[AD]"I've been thinking about it for five years!" Candi chimes in.
"You've got to wonder about priorities if he's not concerned about what's important to you," Dr. Phil tells her. He says she also needs to be sensitive to Chad's fear of going broke over the ceremony.
As a stay-at-home mom, Candi says she's not privy to the household finances. "We fight about the money, and I don't even know what the money is. I don't how much the wedding should cost when I don't have any part of the finances whatsoever," she tells Dr. Phil.
"Is there something she doesn't know financially that she needs to know about why you can't do this?" Dr. Phil asks Chad.
"That's not the case. I think that by me having control of the finances, I make sure it's there," Chad says.
[AD]"You can't expect her to understand if she doesn't have the information. This is a partnership," Dr. Phil says.
He has good news for the couple. WeddingChannel.com will provide $1,000 toward their wedding planning.
"This is important to her," Dr. Phil tells Chad. "If you're the guy who says, â€˜I'm the provider. I make things happen,' then you want to find a way to make this happen."