Slacker Wives and Moocher Moms: Misty, Tory, Debra

Slacker Wives and Moocher Moms: Misty, Tory, Debra

"My mom is the biggest moocher I know," Misty says.

Her sister, Tory, agrees. "Over the years, I've given my mother at least $1,000," she says. "When I was 13, my mom would spend my birthday money, my Christmas money on bills."

"My mom asks for money to pay for the electricity, the car bill, water bill, any bill, every bill," Misty explains. "My mom will say, ‘You earned $100 last night. Why can't I have some of it for my bills? You're selfish because you end up spending it all yourself.' We end up in a rage, screaming, yelling. I've left the house several times after one of our fights."

"When I was growing up, it was very common to have all our utilities cut off," Tory says. Now, the bill collectors call 10 to 15 times a day.

"I asked my daughters for money I couldn't tell you how many times," their mother, Debra, admits. "I feel guilty about it every day."

 

"My mother has used some of my student loan money to pay for her bills," Tory says. "When my mom got a job, she needed a car because the one that she did have got repossessed. The dealer agreed to sell her the car only if I signed for it."

"My mother's mooching is a horrible influence on me," Misty says. "I have now stopped paying my bills, and I am $10,000 in debt. I'm afraid I'm going to end up just like my mom."

Debra's parents bought them the house she and the girls live in but have recently decided to sell it. "I'm very afraid that my mom could live on the streets," Tory says. She turns to Dr. Phil for help. "How can my sister and I help our mom stop mooching?"

"My mom is the biggest moocher I know," Misty says.

Her sister, Tory, agrees. "Over the years, I've given my mother at least $1,000," she says. "When I was 13, my mom would spend my birthday money, my Christmas money on bills."

"My mom asks for money to pay for the electricity, the car bill, water bill, any bill, every bill," Misty explains. "My mom will say, ‘You earned $100 last night. Why can't I have some of it for my bills? You're selfish because you end up spending it all yourself.' We end up in a rage, screaming, yelling. I've left the house several times after one of our fights."

"When I was growing up, it was very common to have all our utilities cut off," Tory says. Now, the bill collectors call 10 to 15 times a day.

"I asked my daughters for money I couldn't tell you how many times," their mother, Debra, admits. "I feel guilty about it every day."

 

"My mother has used some of my student loan money to pay for her bills," Tory says. "When my mom got a job, she needed a car because the one that she did have got repossessed. The dealer agreed to sell her the car only if I signed for it."

"My mother's mooching is a horrible influence on me," Misty says. "I have now stopped paying my bills, and I am $10,000 in debt. I'm afraid I'm going to end up just like my mom."

Debra's parents bought them the house she and the girls live in but have recently decided to sell it. "I'm very afraid that my mom could live on the streets," Tory says. She turns to Dr. Phil for help. "How can my sister and I help our mom stop mooching?"

"You can't afford a new car," Dr. Phil points out. "Where is it now?"

"It got repossessed," she says.

Dr. Phil turns to her sister. "And you used your good credit to sign up for another new car," he says, referring to the car her mother drives.

"Yes, sir," Tory says.

Dr. Phil asks Debra, "Are you up to speed on the payments, or are you behind?"

"With my next paycheck, I'll be all caught up, except for maybe $100," she says.

"So you're behind," Dr. Phil says. "But you needed a new car?"

"We didn't go looking for a new car," Misty explains. "That was the only car they would give us a loan on."

Dr. Phil hangs his head. He informs them, "The minute you buy a new car, the minute you drive over the curb, it's worth, on average, 40 percent less than it was before you drove over that curb."

Even though all of them have bad credit, Dr. Phil says they can turn their situation around. "As someone who grew up poor, I grew up in a cash environment. If you had cash, then you could buy something. If you didn't have cash, then you couldn't. It was just that simple," Dr. Phil says. "You've got to decide, ‘We're going to each pull our own weight. If we can help each other, if we can be synergistic, if we can share housing, if we can share a car, if we can do things … ' but everybody has got to decide, ‘I'm going to pull my own weight. I'm not going to use other people's money and borrow money I don't pay back.' That's dishonest. You took something that didn't belong to you under the promise that you would give it back, and you didn't. And that should be a character issue with you, right?"

"Yeah," Misty says.

"My first car I paid $165 for, and I was glad to get it, and I saved to get the $165, and it wasn't exactly a fashion statement, but it was mine," he says. "It ran, and it was mine, and when I went to bed at night, I didn't owe anybody a damn thing. There's a great sense of freedom in that. There's a great sense of pride in that. Wouldn't you like that feeling?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Oh, I would love it. I crave that," Misty says.

"Wouldn't that take some pressure off of you? Well, the three of you can resolve to do that," he says. He tells Debra, "Be a leader here, Mom. Be a leader."