The Real Lives of Desperate Housewives: Judy
Dr. Phil helps seven women to stop living a lie and start revealing the truth.

"I'm a mom and a grandmother," says Judy. "I'm married to a police officer. I live two lives. On the outside I look put together and on the inside I'm in hell. My secret has landed me in the jail cell. I'm one of the last people that people would expect to be doing what I'm doing. "

Judy admits: "I have a problem with shoplifting. If we walked around my house, everything is stolen. I've stolen eyeglasses, toys, clocks, watches, sunglasses, pillows, phones, VCRs, DVD players and everything from the grocery store. I've stolen toasters, coffeemakers, cooking utensils.
I really have this thing for vacuum cleaners. The most expensive things I've stolen are my pots and pans."

Demonstrating how she'd steal something by putting it up her sleeve, she explains that she's been shoplifting since she was a teenager. "The problem kept growing. Shoplifting once a day and then twice a day. And then four times a day. It consumed my life. I think I really want to get caught. The next time I do it, I will go to jail."

Dr. Phil asks, "Have you stolen things since you've come here to LA?"

"No," she answers. "I haven't gone to any malls since I've been here."

"If you did, would you shoplift?"

"I would be very tempted."

She explains that she has the money to buy what she steals. "I'm not doing this to survive. I came for help. If anybody can help me, you can."

Dr. Phil presses, "Do you really, really, really think it's wrong?"

"No. I justify everything. I got arrested two weeks ago," Judy says matter of factly.

"How'd you feel when they handcuffed you?"

"Nothing. I felt numb," she responds. "I forced myself to look in the mirror to try to make it real. But I was just disconnected."

"Do you think you're going to jail?"

"I know if I keep doing this I definitely will go to jail."
Judy knows her parental legacy is at play because her mother also shoplifted. "My father has really bad money issues and always did. It was wrong to spend money. My mother had to sneak it," she reveals.

"Are you doing this in reaction to your father?" Dr. Phil asks.

Judy shares more of her history: "My dad was physically and emotionally abusive. I had to make my father love me but I never did to this day. He's still alive. He doesn't even talk to me. I know I'm not what he wanted because he didn't want another kid. I wasn't smart enough. I'm not good looking enough."

She recalls a day in her childhood with her father that haunts her. "He told me to go into the lake. I was 3 years old and I jumped in and I was thrown underwater," she says. "And he went and got his movie camera and I kept going underwater and coming up and gasping for air. And he replayed this movie my whole childhood, laughing hysterically like it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen."

Dr. Phil affirms her pain. "He didn't help you at all — just filmed you."

Judy's eyes fill with tears. "He didn't care. And I don't know why it's still important to me because he's not worth it. I still haven't gotten over it," she says.
Judy called her father a month ago. "He had promised that he'd pay for my son's college when it came time," she says. "I called him up and he just said 'F**k you' and hung up on me."

"Is he right to throw you aside?"


"He's controlling your life. And you understand the police won't give a damn about any of that. Do you want to go to jail?"


"Is there a part of you that wants to be punished like that?"

On the second day at the studio, Dr. Phil asks Judy, "Are you going to jail? Or are you going to fight to stay out?"

"I'm going to fight to stay out," she says.

Dr. Phil asks the other women, "Have you all noticed that she has two personalities? She has one when she talks about shoplifting, and then she has the other one." To Judy: "Why is that?"

"The shoplifting part depresses me and I'm not really that person," she explains.

"So who's controlling you?"

"My father. I've been disconnecting because I had to as a kid, from the abuse. He just beat the hell out of me all the time. What little kid needs to have the s**t beat out of them when they come home from school?"

"Did he hit you with his hand? Did he hit you with a belt? What did he hit you with?" Dr. Phil presses.

"Hands. He threw me downstairs, dragged me around by my hair. In front of people."
"Was it your fault or his?"


"How do you know?"

"Because nobody deserves that."

"If you could go back in time, and talk to little Judy, what would you say to her?"

"You're not bad. You're not ugly."

"Would you comfort her and care about her?"

"I'd pick her up and get her the hell out of there."

"What would you say when you were carrying her away?"

"'I love you, and I care about you, and I'm not going to let anybody hurt you.'"

"Why don't you give it to yourself now instead of trying to self-destruct by going to jail?"

"I didn't know how to."

"You'll never stop that until you decide you're taking your power back."

Dr. Phil asks all the women to stand, and instructs Judy, "I want you to tell them why you are worth more than self destructing and going to jail. I want you to tell them, 'I'm taking my power back from my father. I'm not going to let him rule my life anymore.'"

She tells them: "I'm taking my power back. I'm not going to let him rule me anymore. I'm a good friend, a good mother, a good grandma."

"Tell them what you need."

When Judy says she needs a group hug, all the women surround her with open arms.

Dr. Phil continues: "Tell them: 'I don't want to go to jail.' ... Tell them why you're not going to steal anymore."

"I'm not going to jail," she says. "Because I'm worth everything I want to buy." Dr. Phil asks Judy about her upcoming court date, and if she's the same person now as she was when she stole. When she says she's changed, Dr. Phil asks, "How's that judge going to know? I've worked in the legal system for a long time. You need a lawyer and you need to stand up and fight for who you are. Justice will be served by your accountability. It won't be served by you sitting in a jail cell on the sidelines. If you believe you are worth having a life, if you believe that your father was wrong and you are not some piece of crap, you've got
to stand up and fight back. You don't go in there and say you didn't do it when you did. But you go in there and give an accounting of yourself and you say, 'I want to tell you that I get it. I didn't get it before. I get it now.' That's being accountable about who you are. You could ask for community service and work your butt off for people. But sitting in a jail cell is not an acceptable option. Now I want to know that you're going to get an attorney and you're going to go in there and stand up for who you are today. I want a commitment from you that you will do that if you will."

"I will do that. I'm going to fight."

"Because I guarantee you, everyone here standing with you will show up there and testify on your behalf," Dr. Phil tells her.