When Sex Styles Don't Match: Foot Fetish

Dear Dr. Phil,

I've been happily married for two years, but I've had a foot fetish for my entire life. I love to suck my wife's toes, and I've been painting my own toenails for 30 years. I always use masculine colors like blue and purple. I love to wear sandals, but when my friends come over, I run and change my shoes. I've always been considered the macho guy, and I'm afraid my friends wouldn't accept it. Dr. Phil, right now, I won't feel like a whole person until I quit hiding my painted toes. Will that day ever come?



Afraid to Be Me


Dr. Phil addresses the author of this letter at home. "First off, you have to make a decision. You say you want your friends to know, then tell them. Clearly, some people are going to judge that, and I'm not sure that this kind of thing is even really pathological unless it disrupts your life in some way. Some people think it's a pathological displacement of sexual energy, but if it's not disrupting your life, then don't worry about it," he says.


"You say you just carry socks around all the time, so if you get caught in sandals, you can just cover it up. You either need to get a whole bunch of socks and carry them in your pocket all the time, or you just need to say, 'Hey, I come with painted toenails.' But when they ask you about it, you're going to have to be ready to explain it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If you're willing to get real about it, then get real, but there will be a price to pay. It's a choice, and you've got to make it," says Dr. Phil.