Wifestyles: Joy

Wifestyles: Joy


"I'm 33, single, and I have no desire to be a wife," says Joy. "I choose not to be a wife, because I enjoy being the only one in charge of my life. As a wife, I'd have to give up too many of my own desires to accommodate a husband. Marriage should be an equal partnership between a wife and her husband, but too many marriages these days aren't. I think Dr. Phil believes becoming a wife should be every woman's goal. And I couldn't disagree more. A woman can have a full life without becoming a wife. Dr. Phil, I don't ever want to be a wife, what do you think of that?"

"Why so adamant about that?" asks Dr. Phil.

"Well, I just feel that for my own life it works, being a single woman," says Joy. "It's what I desire. I'm not saying that other women can't make other choices, and that many women aren't fulfilled in marital relationships, it's just I want to have the option to remain single. I feel like society has opened up a little bit toward that, but it hasn't come all the way to where it's accepted for a woman to be single."


"You said, ‘How can you ever be a wife and be independent at the same time?' What did you mean by that?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Well, I feel that the role of a wife, and the marital relationship is one in which two people are depending on one another," says Joy. "I don't think you can ever be fully independent. I don't think that word fits into a marriage. Then you'll be leaving your partner's desires and wishes out of the picture."

"In fact you said, ‘I think that you would have to render yourself to being unintelligent, like you had one functioning brain cell'?"

"Anyone who was a wife, and would claim that the role of wife is to be independent, probably only has one functioning brain cell," says Joy.


Joy is under the impression that Dr. Phil thinks women's ultimate goal is to be married.


Dr. Phil sets her straight.  "I went through my shows, to pull some of my advice on that precise subject," he tells Joy. He plays some quotes from previous shows:

"I'm not saying anyone should be married. For God sakes, I'm not saying that. We got a 57.7 percent divorce rate in America."

"You've got to find what I call your authentic self before the world starts telling you who you're supposed to be."

"I've said a long time ago, I'd rather be happy alone than sick with somebody else."

"You don't have to be half of a couple to be complete. You can do that completely on your own."

"There's a big difference between saying, ‘I have to be married,' and ‘I want to be married.'"

"The famous Tom Cruise line, ‘You complete me,' is the biggest crock in the history of the world."