Will There Be A Wedding?: Eddie and Cindy

Will There Be A Wedding?: Eddie and Cindy
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"Question number five that I say couples should ask themselves before they get married is 'What's the cost involved?' What does it cost me to be in this relationship? If it costs all of me to be half of a couple, the price is too high. If it costs me my dignity, my self-respect, my peace of mind, if it costs me all of those things, the price is too high. You may be a great guy, but isn't the admission ticket into your world awfully high?" Dr. Phil asks Eddie.

"It's not always that way," answers Eddie

"It doesn't have to always be that way. It just has to sometimes be that way," says Dr. Phil. "Enough that you have a woman sitting here next to you saying that 'You're driving me nuts. You're making me miserable and you're driving me nuts.'"
"So, what have you learned so far?" Dr. Phil asks Eddie. "You've been listening to couples that we've talked to, you've been listening to what I've said, what's occurred to you so far?"

"What has occurred to me is the trust issues that I have," admits Eddie. "She's never done anything wrong. The anger that I have, it's not pointed toward her, but it's something that I need to take care of."
"Do you know why he's doing it?" Dr. Phil asks Cindy. "He's doing it because he can. It is a test. Every day he's testing you so you can prove to him one more time that you love him that you won't leave him, that you will reassure him. He's just getting a fix of reassurance every time you say 'No, I'm not running around on you. No, I'm not cheating on you. No, I'm not going to leave you.' It's test, test, test, test, and you [Eddie] do it because you can. You are addicted to the reassurance. You're going to test her until she fails the test and then you can say, 'See, I knew she would leave me.' Is that what you want?"

"No, not at all." Replies Eddie.

"Because let me tell you, I'm a pretty good read of people, and she's had it with you. I truly believe she's tired of reassuring you. I believe she's tired of being put through this inquisition on a regular basis when she isn't doing anything to deserve it."
Dr. Phil continues: "We talk about baggage. Everybody has a history. We all have a history, things that happen in your life and you bring those with you to your relationship. And you either contribute to or contaminate your relationship. There's no neutrality. You're either contributing to it by being a good, accepting spirit and a constructive spirit, or you contaminate it by being paranoid, suspicious, accusatory, bitter and angry. You're either a carrier of all this toxic stuff or you're a carrier of all this healthy and curative stuff. You're a carrier of toxic stuff right now and you've got to jettison all that or you're going to alienate her and anybody else you're around."