Think you’ve found the perfect man but some things just aren’t adding up? Is he a bit of a mystery? Sarah Symonds is a former mistress and author of Having an Affair? A Handbook for the Other Woman. She gives her tips for recognizing the signs that a man you’re dating may be married:
- You met in a bar. “If you are meeting for the first time in a bar, that doesn’t bode well. So many married men hang out in bars hoping to get lucky,” Sarah says.
- He has an indentation or tan line on his ring finger. When you first meet him, look for an obvious sign of a wedding ring that was just removed.
- He pays for dinners and drinks in cash. This could be because he doesn’t want a paper trail or credit card bust from his wife.
- He has more than one cell phone and won’t give you both phone numbers. “One is for his wife, and one is for his secret life,” Sarah says. Also note if he always goes outside to take private calls when he’s with you.
- He tends to call you while at the store, walking the dog, getting gas ” places he’s dashed out to in order to call. “These are places where he’s escaped the family home to go out and call you, his secret lover,” she says.
- He doesn’t reply to your texts for hours and is not available to talk freely in the evenings. He may ask you not to call after certain times. “It’s because he’s at home with his family and can’t answer,” Sarah says.
- He’s always busy on the weekends and doesn’t want to make plans for less than 10 days time. He can’t be spontaneous when he has a family to juggle.
- He doesn’t introduce you to his friends.
- He finds excuses for why he can’t invite you back to his place. “My main message to women out there who might fall for these things is to find a reason to go back to his place. If he won’t take you home, there’s a reason why,” Sarah says.