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          Why Fighting In Front Of Kids Is Detrimental To Their Development

          October 06, 2016

          Pam says she is “raising” her 14-month-old grandson because she claims her daughter Ashlan would rather party and be a stripper than take care of her child. Pam claims Ashlan goes missing for days without seeing her son and when she does show up, she causes drama, including screaming and cursing at the baby.

          Ashlan calls her mother a “liar, hypocrite, judgmental and manipulative.” She says she is a good mom and is doing her best to raise her child and that it “pisses her off” when her mother criticizes her parenting.

          WATCH: 21-Year-Old Single Mom Whose Family Accuses Her Of ‘Neglecting’ Baby Gets Reality Check

          In the video above, Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells mother and daughter how their contentious relationship is affecting Ashlan’s young son.

          “Children look at their parents, their family like an island. That’s their safety in the middle of the ocean. Based on how secure they feel, they learn to kind of swim out. Then they learn they can come back and the island is there. Then they swim out a little further and they come back and the island is there,” Dr. Phil says. “But if every time they swim out it’s gone, they panic. They don’t know is this all going to come apart. ‘Is my family going to fall apart? Is it going to be there? Is it not going to be there? Am I going to be accepted, rejected, blamed, yelled at, screamed, hit?’ They don’t know, and so they grow up with anxiety, and then anxiety turns into maladaptive behavior. It blocks their learning. It blocks their development.”

          He implores mother and daughter to end their fighting immediately.

          This episode airs Thursday. Watch more here.

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