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          Naysayers and Passive-Aggressives

          May 27, 2003

          They don’t keep their promises, blame others for their failures, are pessimistic ” no matter how well things are going ” and feign compliance while sabotaging you.

          A Passive-Aggressive Husband
          Tamara says her husband, Richard, “rarely says what he means and rarely means what he says.” To avoid confrontation, he “is either late or runs away.” Richard admits that he sabotages his relationship.

           

          A Passive-Aggressive Coworker
          Laura admits she is wishy-washy, uses the silent treatment instead of dealing with conflict and tells people everything is OK while holding a grudge.

            

           

          The Naysayer
          Mallory’s friends jokingly call her their “ray of sunshine” because of her pessimism. Her negativity is so pervasive, she worries that it’s affecting her friendships and ability to keep a boyfriend.

           

           

          Life Strategy Exercise
          Dr. Phil asks Richard and Tamara to do an exercise from his Life Strategies Workbook, listing things they would like to change. He then reminds them of Life Law #2: “You create your own experience,” which means that both of them need to take responsibility for their relationship.

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