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          Out of Control and Out of Options

          September 10, 2012

          Dwane and Taneesha have been married for six years, and share four beautiful children, but say their marriage is crumbling. Taneesha says Dwane is an abusive husband whose anger scares her. She says he has hit her, called her names, spit in her face and punched a hole in the wall at the couple’s home. Taneesha says she has packed up her belongings and attempted to leave the marriage eight times — but why does she keep coming back? Dwane admits he has been physical with his wife but says Taneesha isn’t as innocent as she may seem. He says Taneesha has a wandering eye, and he suspects she’s been unfaithful. The couple says they’ve seen four therapists. Can Dr. Phil get this marriage back on track? Plus, find out what most women say they secretly long for in their relationship! Then, Matilda says her 17-year-old son, Austin’s, video game addiction is changing the son she once knew. She says Austin lies to his friends about his plans so that he can play his favorite video games — for hours on end. Fearing he’ll only get worse, Matilda reaches out to Dr. Phil for help. Plus, hear from Devin, a 21-year-old former video game addict, and Dr. Phillip Zimbardo, an internationally-recognized psychologist and researcher who co-authored the book, The Demise of Guys. Can they help Austin learn how to unplug the joystick and plug back in to reality?

          More than 16 million kids in the United States are at risk for hunger each day. Fortunately, you can help. Visit Feeding America to find your local food bank. And, help Dr. Phil raise enough money for 10 million meals. Donate today!

          Out-of-Control Husband?

          Taneesha says that her marriage to Dwane has made her feel like a prisoner in her own home. After nine years together, she says Dwane is controlling and believes that he’s superior to women. Taneesha says she’s caught her husband viewing pornography online and saving women’s numbers as men in his phone. She says the marriage has turned emotionally, verbally — and physically — abusive. She says Dwane calls her so many bad names, she started to believe them herself. Taneesha says the physical abuse has escalated to throwing things, spitting in her face and punching holes in the wall — many times in front of their four children. Dwane admits to much of the abuse but says Taneesha also holds blame for problems in their marriage. She says Taneesha has a wandering eye and anger issues herself. Despite everything, Taneesha says she wants the marriage to work. The couple says they’ve seen five therapists — can Dr. Phil get to the bottom of the couple’s problems?

          Dr. Phil lists off Taneesha’s grievances with Dwane.

          Must-See: Has Dwane been unfaithful? Can he explain what Taneesha’s found online?

          What does Dwane have to do to make his wife happy?

          Video Game Addiction?

          Matilda says her 17-year-old son, Austin, was once an outgoing kid, but now he spends up to 50 hours per week playing video games alone in his room. She says he often grows irritated when he doesn’t play, and she feels like she doesn’t know him anymore. Matilda says Austin often curses when he plays and lies to his friends about his whereabouts to stay in and play. She says Austin was recently let go from his job, and she fears it’s because of his excessive gaming. Dr. Philip Zimbardo, author of The Demise of Guys, explains how the seduction of an imaginary world has become a new “arousal addiction,” with the immediate gratification it delivers. And, Devin, a once-world-ranked Call of Duty gamer opens up about the negative impact of gaming on his life.

          Dr. Philip Zimbardo explains how he says video games are causing the demise of today’s young men.

          Devin was world-ranked in Playstation 3’s Call of Duty — and admits he had a problem. Find out how he says Dr. Zimbardo changed his life with easy solutions you can use.

          Phil in the Blanks – The Podcast

          Related Resources

          • The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do about It
            by Philip G. Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan

            The Demise of Guys
            is available now for download for Nook and Kindle platforms on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple’s iBookstore and as a new TED book app at Apple’s App Store.
          • See Dr. Zimbardo’s TED Talk about today’s boys on
          • Dr. Zimbardo continues to cultivate not just better guys, but the hero in all of us through his work at The Heroic Imagination Project.

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