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          Children of Affairs

          December 28, 2012

          Three percent of all children born in the United States each year are the product of extra-marital affairs. What happens when these children — a result of lies and deception — grow up and learn the circumstances surrounding their birth?

          A Relationship Founded in Deception

          Germaine says she’s been having a 2-year affair with a married man, Trevor, and is five months pregnant with his child. Germaine says Trevor constantly lies to her and his wife, and she wants to know if he is ready to end the deceit and commit to her. “I’m worried that he’s cheating on me with his wife,” Germaine says. “I went to his house, asked his wife what was going on, and she said, ‘We’re happily married. He said you were a big mistake, and we’re trying to rebuild our relationship.’ All I could do was cry … and apologize.”

          Germaine says Trevor later asked her for a second chance and proposed. “We started living together. I feel like he’s still not being honest, and it infuriates me,” she says.

          “Germaine is a drama queen,” Trevor says. “[She] doesn’t let anything ever go … Stuff happens. It’s done. Get over it and move on.”

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          Germaine has a question for Dr. Phil, and he doesn’t mince words about the role she’s playing in Trevor’s marriage. Is she remorseful?

          “Tell me what went through your head when you’re planning to have baby with another woman’s husband?”

          “My Entire Life is a Lie”

          Krista says she was 11 years old when her mother told her that she was the product of an affair, and the man she grew up believing was her father, wasn’t. She says her world then came crashing down — her self-esteem plummeted, and she became promiscuous and anorexic. Krista says the man who raised her died of a broken heart when her mother left him. She says the pain, anger and shame she feels affects every area of her life, including driving a wedge between her and her husband of 11 years.

          Krista paints a picture of what Germaine’s unborn child may feel some day.

          “You don’t deserve anything, right? Because you are a bastard child who ripped apart families and killed your father.”

          Making New Choices

          Krista has unresolved resentment toward her mother for what she did. Will an emotional exercise with Germaine help Krista let go of the burden she carries and find a new perspective on life? And, will Germaine and Trevor begin to understand how their behavior may have lifelong consequences for their unborn child?

          “I hate what you did to me.”

          What’s next for Germaine and Trevor?

          Phil in the Blanks – The Podcast

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