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          "My Friend is Too Obsessed with Me"

          June 11, 2013

          How do you know if you need to cut someone out of your life or whether it’s worth repairing the broken relationship? “It’s important to be aware that not everybody in your life has your best interests at heart, and you have to learn to listen to your instincts,” Dr. Phil says. He speaks with his guests about how to fix a relationship or end it.

          Friendship Turned Obsession?

          Traci says her former friend, Jinda, is obsessed and infatuated with her. She wants Dr. Phil’s help to get the message across to Jinda that their relationship is over.

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          “Jinda is beyond obsessed with me.”

          Dr. Phil reads some of the many texts that Traci has received from Jinda. And, Traci explains how Jinda wants more than a friendship.

          Jinda describes how much Traci means to her. “I was her pea; she was my carrot.”

          Acknowledging her fear, Dr. Phil tells Traci that he’s not going to make her face Jinda on his stage. “It’s obvious that there’s an obsession here that’s not healthy,” he says. 

          Can Dr. Phil get Jinda to understand how her behavior has crossed the line?

          Jinda explains that she and Traci had such a close bond that she loved her more than family. She admits that she has an attraction to Traci, and she has driven past her house. She tells Dr. Phil, “I honestly love too much, maybe. I’m clingy. I’m needy. If I need to let go, I will. I want to make her happy. I want to make me happy again.”

          “I do think you are obsessed with her, but I don’t think this is about her at all.”

          Dr. Phil recommends that Jinda be seen by a professional and evaluated for a possible disorder, like histrionic personality disorder, which includes attention-seeking behavior, sexual seductiveness and emotions inappropriate in typical society, or narcissistic personality disorder, which includes pervasive patterns of grandiosity, need for attention and a lack of empathy for others.

          “You’re not a bad person. You just need to make an adjustment in this area, and then I hope you’ll be happy in your life,” Dr. Phil tells Jinda. He offers to find her professional help, and she accepts.

          Dr. Phil asks Jinda to refrain from contacting Traci, and she agrees.

          Afterward, Traci, who watched Dr. Phil’s talk with Jinda, expresses relief and thanks Dr. Phil for helping. Dr. Phil says he thinks Jinda now understands how she was overstepping her boundaries, but tells Traci, “If you get so much as a tremor from that direction, then my recommendation to you is to file for a restraining order. You have the evidence to get that.”

          Silence between Sisters

          Kari says her sister, Holly, stabbed her in the back when she took Kari’s ex-husband’s side during their divorce — and, after not speaking for three years, she wants an apology. Holly says she’s not sorry and that Kari is the one who needs to apologize. Can Dr. Phil end the silence between these sisters? 

          “I was wrong for cheating but feel it was none of my sister’s business.”

          The siblings argue, and after allowing time to vent their frustrations, Dr. Phil jokes, “I’m pretty good. I’ve got you talking more than you have in three years!”

          Dr. Phil urges Kari and Holly to sit down and try to repair their relationship. “I don’t want you to lose your sister because she made some really bad decisions,” he tells Holly. “Resolve those things and love each other,” he tells them. “You’re not as right as you think you are,” he tells Holly. “And you’re not as victim as you think you are,” he tells Kari. “Don’t lose each other in the process.”

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