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          Lying, Spending Spouses

          June 18, 2013

          Kim says she recently discovered that for the past five years, her husband, Mike, has been pretending to go to work at high-profile jobs, but in reality, he’s been playing video games in the basement and sleeping in his car. Mike admits that he lies so often that he can’t even keep track of the stories he’s told. Why has he been carrying out this deceit for so long? And, is there anything else he’s hiding?

          Mike’s Deceit

          Mike admits that for the past five years, he’s been lying to his wife, Kim, about having high-profile jobs, including positions with Major League Baseball teams like the Chicago Cubs, Texas Rangers and Chicago White Sox, and that he’s really just been playing online solitaire in their basement. He says he initially got a job with a subsidiary of the Chicago Cubs but lost that opportunity because he had inflated his résumé and could not properly perform his job duties. “All the jobs after that were a complete lie; they were made up,” he confesses. “When paychecks were supposed to be coming in, and they weren’t coming in, that’s when I would pretty much say, ‘Hey, you know what? I’ve been let go.’”

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          “The first job that Mike lied about was the government contracting job in Germany,” Kim says, adding that Mike had her quit her job of 18 years in order to move their family abroad for the career opportunity. “It was all a lie.”

          Why didn’t Kim catch on to Mike’s lies?

          “When I started lying, it’s like it just came out naturally.”

          Dr. Phil lists the timeline of Mike’s job fallacies. And, does Dr. Phil catch him in another lie? 

          “I can’t even wrap my head around the fact that 17 years of my life was a lie.”

          Dr. Phil asks Mike how he thought his web of deceit would end, and he responds, “I knew it was going to end horribly.” He adds, “I just didn’t know when it was going to end. I didn’t know how I was going to come clean on it.”

          “You didn’t come clean,” Dr. Phil says. “When she started asking, you lied some more.”

          Mike agrees and says he wants to be clear of all his lies — and for Kim to be in love with the same man she met 17 years ago.

          “That person doesn’t exist,” Kim responds. “I was in love with something that didn’t exist.” She continues, “We’ll never be together again.”

          Dr. Phil shares tips from his new book, Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World, to help Kim stop being victimized and become victim-wise. And, Mike is questioned about the family’s two house fires in less than two years.

          Dr. Phil urges Kim to empower herself and change her internal dialogue. “Winners deal with the truth.”

          Moving Forward

          Dr. Phil offers Kim and her son help so that she can move forward and stop feeling victimized, and she accepts. “You can be better from this,” he tells her. “I don’t want you to be the victim here.” He continues, “I get that it’s hard, but you can do this.”

          When asked about her future with Mike, Kim responds, “We’re done, but he’s always my son’s father.”

          Dr. Phil turns to Mike and says, “You got into this, and you told one lie, in my opinion, because you were ashamed to tell the truth. You were ashamed to go and admit, ‘I can’t get a job.’” He says that the lies continued to snowball, and Mike lost control. “You kept thinking, ‘I will get a job for real, and then it will never come out; and then I can just cover it up, and then it will just go away.’”

          “That’s what I was hoping,” Mike says.

          Dr. Phil tells Mike that he has a soft spot for those who serve our country. “That is one thing that I have verified that you did, in fact, do — and do with honor,” he says. Dr. Phil says that he feels there needs to be more support and help for members of the military who are transitioning back to civilian life and looking for jobs. He offers Mike professional help to move forward in his life, repair his relationship with his son and find a legitimate job, and Mike graciously accepts.
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