Young, Jealous Love
Ilene, 20, says her boyfriend of two years, Matt, 20, is destroying their relationship with his jealous and controlling behavior. She says he constantly accuses her of cheating on him, and nothing she has done to prove her faithfulness has eased his suspicions — including quitting her job, deleting her social network profiles and passing a lie detector test. She says Matt’s lack of trust in her has turned to anger, and he often calls her demeaning names. She says he even cheated on her in retaliation and sent her an audio clip of the act. With a 1-year-old child together and another on the way, how can Ilene convince Matt she has been faithful?
Matt admits he makes Ilene prove herself all the time but claims he is certain she has cheated — and he even doubts that the baby she’s carrying is his.
What’s behind Matt’s trust issues? Tune in to hear Dr. Phil’s theory. Can this relationship be saved?
Controlling and Jealous?“My boyfriend, Matt, and I have been dating for almost two years. In the beginning, he was every girl’s dream guy. It felt like something out of a movie,” Ilene remembers. “About five months into our relationship, Matt started accusing me of cheating on him. I did not see it coming at all. Now, our relationship is horrible. There’s no trust in it at all. Matt thinks I’m sleeping with my ex-boyfriend, his friend and half the town. I think Matt is crazy and delusional. He has absolutely no proof that I have cheated on him.”
Ilene says Matt has called her degrading names like “slut” and “pig,” made her sleep on the floor during her first pregnancy, spit in her face and made fun of her body after she had his child. “The most hurtful thing Matt does is he turns to my son, and he will say, ‘I know your mommy is a whore.’ He’ll say he’s sorry for choosing someone like me to be his mother.”
Matt says, “I’m almost 100 percent sure Ilene has cheated on me with two different people, one being her ex-boyfriend and one being one of my friends. I’ve never caught her in the act. She says, ‘Until you catch me with somebody, I’m innocent.’ I don’t believe that. When I accuse Ilene of cheating, she cries and screams. It’s almost like she’s trying to hide something. It makes me sick to think that my son could be in the same house with somebody she’s cheating on me with.
“Ilene is seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the doctor told her she got pregnant in the month of July, and we weren’t together all of August or July. I’m 100 percent sure this is not my child. I’ve called Ilene names. I’ve called her 'nasty,' 'disgusting,' 'whore.' If Ilene is seven months pregnant, sleeping with somebody else, I think she deserves to be called a whore,” he says.
Matt says he and Ilene have broken up and gotten back together several times in the last few months. “I can’t get past the fact that she may have cheated on me and that she’s hiding it from me. Until Ilene tells me she’s cheated on me, there’s no way of us ever getting back together,” he says.