Dr. Phil says there are seven self-defeating games that people play to sabotage a situation because they fear the outcome.

“These are games you play when you’re afraid that if things keep flowing along, it’s going to turn out bad for you, so you have to blow the situation up,” he explains. “You’re afraid of the outcome, so you’ve got to blow the situation up, and if you stuck with it, there’s really something you could gain, but you’re afraid to do it.”

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The seven self-defeating games are:

1. Don’t participate
“You’re in a situation, and you think, ‘Oh, I don't know that I’m going to be able to control this. It’s not going to go the way I want, so I just won’t play.’”

2. Play the nice guy
You tell people what they want to hear in the moment to get out of situation. Not being honest with your feelings.

3. Be a problem
For example, if you don’t want to do the dishes, you break a few. You blow up the situation.

4. Change the game
When you realize you are in an uncomfortable situation so you change the subject to avoid being put on the spot.

5. Spread lies or gossip

6. Hide behind judgment

7. Get them before they get you.

In the video above, Dr. Phil explains these principles to Sue and Mike who are at odds with their daughter Lindsay and her husband, Billy. Lindsay wrote into the show claiming she is treated like the black sheep of her family and that her parents treat her differently than her two older siblings, but after flying out to Los Angeles to face her parents and sisters, she and Billy returned home before meeting with Dr. Phil.

This episode airs Friday. Check here to see where you can watch.

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