Ben Raymond says that because of his family situation, he decided to put himself in foster care in eighth grade. After living with three different families, he says he finally found a family that gave him the stability, rules, love and attention he needed.

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“I am the man I am today, the mentor, the father, because of a lot of the years of struggling with abandonment from my parent,” says Ben, author of the new book, Playing the Game Without a Coach.

Ben offers advice to Sean, Scott and Alex; brothers who claim they were abandoned by their mom 25 years ago and who say they struggle to forgive her.

WATCH: Three Brothers Who Claim Their Mom Abandoned Them As Young Boys Describe What It Was Like To See Her Leave

“I know you guys have said you want to keep your mother out of your life, and with my mother and my father, I tried to control the situation. There’s plenty of times that I wanted to check out from my mother, my father, facing rejection,” Ben tells the brothers. “But what I didn’t realize is that it was on my heart. Whether you guys cut her off or not, it’s going to be on your heart.”

He continues, “I think for me, I had to realize that I could still love my father and I could still love my mother, not necessarily what they were doing, but they were my mother and my father. And for me to let go and put boundaries in place.”

Hear more of Ben’s life story – and advice -- in the video above. This episode of Dr. Phil airs Tuesday. Watch more here.

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