John claims that though he’s never murdered anyone, he’s fought the urge to torture, dismember and kill others for most of his life.

WATCH: Man Claims Collecting Shrunken Heads And Replica Human Faces Gave Him A ‘Sense Of Peace’

TELL DR. PHIL YOUR STORY: Chaos in your life?

He says he began corresponding with the convicted serial killer, Arthur Shawcross (also known as the Genesee River Killer), after he came to the murderer’s attention around the year 2000, after selling some of the Shawcross’s prison artwork online. John eventually wrote a book about his relationship with the late killer in “The Shawcross Letters, My Journey Into the Mind of Evil.”

“He was basically my closest friend for a while, and I looked up to him as almost a father figure for a time,” John says.

WATCH: ‘It Was A Flooring Moment,’ Says Woman On Learning Serial Killer Arthur Shawcross Was Her Dad

“You actively seek out this monstrous serial killer, form a relationship with him, get a career in to what you call ‘murder memorabilia,’ ‘gore porn,’ these are your terms to describe this, and this relationship with this horrific human being,” says Dr. Phil to John on Wednesday’s episode.

When he asks, “How is that not nurturing and flourishing this part of who you are as opposed to suppressing it?” how does John respond?

Check here to find your local listing.

TELL DR. PHIL YOUR STORY: Life in crisis?

Woman Claims Her Brother Often Talked About ‘Fascination’ With Killing