Amber says when she was 14, she dated a boy who eventually murdered her best friend. “Robert lived down the street from me. The very first day I kissed him, he proceeded to rape me,” claims the (now) 40-year-old.

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She claims he convinced her that it was her fault – so she agreed to stay with him. The next year, she says, her friend, Catrina, went missing. “They started the process of getting him convicted before her body was ever found because he had also raped several other women, so he was already behind bars,” says Amber adding that he eventually got life in prison.

Amber says she felt tremendous guilt over her friend’s murder. “I felt like I should have been the one to die and not her because she was an only child. I had three other siblings, and frankly, my parents weren’t paying attention to me anyway.”

Why does Amber say she never received the therapy she needed to get past the trauma – and how does she say she believes it continues to affect her today? Tune in Thursday for part two of this two-part Dr. Phil.

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Dr. Phil To Guest Who Says She Still Feels Guilty Over Friend’s Murder 25 Years Ago: ‘Your Self-Esteem Is So Low - You Couldn’t Go Lower’