Melissa has been dating Dennis for the last eight years. She says that their relationship has been filled with infidelity, volatility, arguing in front of their grandchildren and multiple break-ups. Melissa says, however, that she takes responsibility for the dysfunctional relationship and even blames herself for turning Dennis into a cheater.

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In the video above, Dr. Phil and his wife, Robin, offer Melissa advice for putting herself first.

“Your mindset, the way you approach your life right now is, in my opinion, very distorted,” Dr. Phil tells her. “When I read that you take full responsibility for all of his shortcomings, when you say, ‘I am to blame for him being the way he is,’ when you say, ‘This relationship is in trouble because of me,’ and when I am told that you have harmed yourself and threatened to take your own life, then I am keenly aware that you have lost your place.”

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Robin McGraw, who has devoted her entire adult life to being an advocate for women, offers her thoughts. “It is not selfish to put yourself first, to take care of yourself, because you need to be at your best so you can take care of those who you love,” she says. “You deserve to put yourself first. You have the right to choose the life you want to live, no one else … Take care of yourself. Be your healthiest, be your happiest.”

This episode airs Wednesday. Watch more here.

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