2 min read

Building a Partner Profile

How well do you know your partner? After taking Dr. Phil's "Partner Awareness Quiz," take a closer look at your relationship keeping in mind these two fundamental truths:

1) You cannot meet your partner's needs if you don't know what they are.

2) You cannot know what your partner's needs are if you don't know your partner.

For the complete partner profile, go to Chapter Six in Relationship Rescue. But here are just some of the questions Dr. Phil suggests you answer in order to reflect on who your partner is with a fresh eye and strengthen your connection. Don't enlist your partner's help, and have the courage to be honest in your answers.

Family History
  • How did your partner get his/her name?
  • Does your partner consider his/her age an issue? In what way?
  • What's his/her maternal relationship like? Does your partner consider it an asset or liability?
  • What is the best feature of his/her paternal relationship? The biggest
  • How does your partner handle problems with his/her mother and father?
  • Does your partner consistently treat siblings with dignity and respect?
  • Do you consider your partner's relationship with his/her family to be healthy?
  • What are the biggest strengths in their relationships? Weaknesses?

Relationship Sketch

To create a mini-profile of the relationship between your partner's parents, try to answer these questions.

  • Is the relationship characterized by lots of affection, or is it more standoffish?
  • Do disagreements escalate into all-out war? How would you characterize their style of conflict?
  • Have your partner's parents been faithful to each other?
  • What kind of home environment have they created?

Your Partner's Other Relationships

  • Who are your partner's best friends?
  • Generally speaking, what is your partner's attitude toward the opposite sex?
  • What kind of people does your partner not like?
  • Has your partner ever been betrayed?
  • What kind of social life and pattern does your partner prefer?
  • Is your partner liked by his/her peers?

Your Partner's Attitude of Approach

  • Is your partner more participative or passive?
  • Is your partner courageous or does he/she play the game of life with sweaty palms?
  • Generally speaking, is your partner lazy or industrious?
  • What does your partner think is funny? Offensive?

Your Partner's Frustration Set

  • What are your partner's greatest frustrations on the job? At home? Dealing with family?
  • How competitive is your partner?
  • Name three or four of your partner's pet peeves.
  • Does your partner feel appreciated?

Success, Failure and Loss

  • How does your partner define success?
  • What have been your partner's greatest successes in life? Greatest failures?
  • Can your partner apologize when wrong?

Occupational and Financial Concerns

  • If your partner could choose a different job, what would it be?
  • How satisfied with his/her work is your partner?
  • Is your partner financially responsible?

Mind and Body Issues

  • How intelligent is your partner?
  • How does your partner feel about his/her appearance?
  • What are your partner's favorite foods?

Principles and Priorities

  • Does your partner have and commit to principles?
  • In what area of your partner's life does he/she excel?
  • About what is your partner passionate?
  • What does your partner's spiritual life consist of?

For more about identifying your partner's emotional, physical, spiritual, social and security needs — and specific steps you can take to meet those needs — take a look at the full profile in Relationship Rescue.


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