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Of course there are plenty of great guys out there, but I’ve also known some really bad guys in my time. I wouldn’t be leveling with you if I neglected to tell you about some guys who have a dark side. So how can you avoid the bad apples? Watch out for these five types:
1. The Hit ‘er-and-Quit ‘er
These guys are the ones who just don’t like women, yet they use women as often as possible. They still want sex, but their need for intimacy and female companionship ends at the foot of the bed. They will say virtually anything to get a girl naked and have no conscience about what lies and misrepresentations they tell to get there. They are predators and will move on, even if they like the woman. Watch out for men who try to pressure you into having sex with over-the-top urgency and get aggressive when you say no.
2. The Kiss-and-Teller
These are the braggarts who are more interested in a trophy for the sole purpose of having a story to tell. Unlike the previous guy, who may not even care about his image, these guys can’t wait to parade you around — and then get away from you, so they can tell their stories. Their only interest is meeting what they believe are society’s expectations. So they won’t try to get to know you at all. They just want to show you off and make people think that they have something, even if they don’t.
3. The Smother Brother
These guys are overwhelmed by a need for control. For example, they might tell a girlfriend how to dress, or where she is and is not allowed to go. Their problem is that they can’t deal with uncertainty, so they micromanage the life out of you and the relationship. At first, it might feel good that they are really head over heels in love with you and so invested in you. But be patient, because soon you might find that their interest is not in caring for you, but in controlling you. Don’t confuse smothering with love.
4. The Pretender
He is playing a script and he doesn’t care who is playing opposite him. He just likes his role of romantic lead, which he may eagerly play all the way up to the altar. But he has no intention of ever following through by sticking around to do the actual work. Once this guy feels he’s got you, it’s “game over” — now he has to figure out what to do with you. And that’s either too scary or too boring a proposition for him to deal with, so he moves on.
5. The Mama’s Boy
Unemployed and seeking women who are affluent to take care of them emotionally and financially, mama’s boys are looking to be — you guessed it — mommied. Instead of viewing relationships as their chance to grow into adulthood, they look at women as mothers who will feed, clothe and clean up after them. Watch out for guys who never seem to have any money, so they expect you to pay for dinner or even ask for loans.
Boy, oh boy, I can put some faces with each of these five categories! These guys are out there. Beware.
Adapted from Love Smart: Find the One You Want — Fix the One You Got.
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