February 10, 2003
Are you looking for Mr. Right but only finding Mr. Wrong? Dr. Phil shares advice to help enhance your dating life.
Make sure you’re aware of the first impression you’re giving. People react to how you present yourself — so pay attention to the statement you’re making. If you’re not sure how you might be perceived, ask someone who will tell you the truth.
Seven percent of communication is what you say, and the other 93 percent is non-verbal. That 93 percent screams your “personal truth,” what you really believe about yourself when nobody is looking. If you’re carrying baggage — insecurities, fear, desperation — people can tell.
While Dr. Phil cautions about expecting someone to meet a checklist, he does think it’s OK to have deal breakers. But you need to know what they are and get rid of the ones that are frivolous. Be open to someone who may not meet all your requirements, while recognizing what you’re not willing to compromise on.
When you feel the pressure of time, you can make mistakes, or overlook important details, or misjudge someone. Don’t base everything on chemistry, because marriage is not one long date. Let the natural rhythm of a relationship run its course without getting too impatient or forcing things.
Keep in mind: The number one fear that men have is rejection. They need to see a vulnerability, an approachability, so they feel like they have something to offer you. Are you so into your comfort zone of being single that you’re putting out a vibe that says “I don’t need you”?