When you get married, you not only gain a spouse but also a new family. Although sometimes it can be tricky to find balance and get along with your new relatives, respecting each other is key to making the new family dynamic a success.

TELL DR. PHIL YOUR STORY: In-Laws Ruining Your Marriage?

Dr. Phil points out the seven biggest mistakes mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law make so you can be aware and avoid them when starting your new relationships.

Mistakes Mothers-In-Law Make
1. Stopping by unannounced
2. Assuming daughter-in-law wants advice
3. Having a belief that the mother-son relationship won’t change after marriage
4. Putting pressure on the daughter-in-law to have children
5. Offering to help with disciplining children or housework
6. Trying too hard to be nice
7. Criticizing daughter-in-law to son

Daughters-In-Law Mistakes
1. Being too thin-skinned
2. Letting things slide at the start
3. Taking a confrontational stand too quickly
4. Expecting equal treatment as the son

5. Not showing respect to his mother.
6. Failing to put yourself in her shoes and being empathetic to what she’s going through
7. Criticizing her son to her
“Those are the big seven that each side makes,” Dr. Phil says.

He also offers advice to a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who are at odds.

This episode of Dr. Phil airs Wednesday. Watch more here.

TELL DR. PHIL YOUR STORY: Is your family a stressed mess?

Advice For In-Laws At Odds